comedy – unliterate.net, sans-confusion since 2004

Death Education

December 13, 2025December 13, 2025 Matthew Heick Leave a comment

Sex Education. Everyone who went through secondary school remembers this. Parents remember the permission slips and kids remember teachers telling their students to “grow up” with the cringey displays of how the miracle of life happens.

There isn’t much taught about Death Education.

A random video came across my eyeballs on facebook that helps make this one of the most exciting topics to learn about, complete with the “miracle of death.” The clip is from the FX Network show “Dying for Sex“, Season 1, Episode 8.

I thought that if I were to teach about death this is the way it should be done.

Props for whomever wrote the dialogue for this scene. It’s lightweight, enthusiastic, and direct; exactly how knowledge should be passed along.

Gilligan’s Island: Ante Commorientes

October 1, 2025October 1, 2025 Matthew Heick Leave a comment

Commorientes: “simultaneous deaths”

Ante: (no longer productive) Prior to in time.

Needed a fancy word that makes no sense to document the order of passing of the characters of the 1964-1967 sitcom Gilligan’s Island.

My Magic Number

September 30, 2025October 18, 2025 Matthew Heick Leave a comment

I have a magic number.

It’s been a number that I invented as part of an experience with a scientific calculator when I was in the 8th grade (circa 1994-1995). The calculator I possessed had the ability to convert between different number bases, specifically between decimal, binary, octal, and hexadecimal. Being the child I was I saw potential with using the calculators hexadecimal alphabet and writing letters and numbers together.

Dug from the Archives: A Business Card

May 12, 2025May 12, 2025 Matthew Heick Leave a comment

On November 20, 2003 I was hired at Marchese Computer Products in Batavia, New York. Originally I was the good-looking person who was seen when you walked through the front doors my initial tasks revolved around answering the phone, taking computers in for service, and performing front-end sales.

When will the United States be a graveyard?

January 28, 2025January 28, 2025 Matthew Heick Leave a comment

I woke up one morning with a thought about the quantity of ancestors I would have if I walk back to Jesus times. Assuming I go back 30 generations there should be close to 1 billion ancestors of mine. This has to be some kind of paradox since I’m certain 1 billion human souls weren’t alive in the yonder of 0-39AD. I decided to work the opposite way and ask myself “How many human beings would it take that, if all were buried in the ground at the end of their happy life it would make the United States a complete graveyard?”. I expanded this though to wonder at what year that would occur, too.