So cold…

For 2 days now i’ve been reminding myself to get ONE song on my tablet so I can “relax” while sitting on the bus. This song happened to be by Bullet For My Valentine called Scream Aim Fire. I ended up finding it on youtube and attempting to stream it , but Buffalo’s mobile is Buffalo’s mobile.

I ended up having a reverie about all 4 of my kids being members in a rock band called “Bullet For My Father”, with Devon as Lead Guitar/Vocals, Angelique as Rhythm Guitar, Jamie as the Bassist, and Savannah as drums. I imagined them being highly successful, and on one of their shows having me come up and doing the drums for a tribute to this song. The dreams of parents are amazing…

Then it hit, and it hit HARD. The usual “Youtube will play next” cycled to Crossfade – Cold, and I said to myself “No fucking way”. I know this song by heart so bad it stirs up emotions. I had never seen the music video until today, and suddenly I had tears of pain. When I first heard the song it stuck to me to the point where all of Crossfade’s playlist was cycled while I psycho-coded. It never crossed my mind to actually find their music videos and see them. I’m on Colors now and so far, i’m overly excited and found my Emotion again when it comes to music.


Time to finally try to eat a pizza. Gotta remember to get one ordered.

I’ve decided on my two goals for 2015. They seem pretty huge and seen far out, but that is what goals are for anyways:

Goal 1: Clear myself of financial debt

This might not be as easy as it sounds. I have to be extra, extra special frugal and heavily track expenses. I’ve already quit smoking and taken in roommates. I do know that at this point, there are 6.75 months of the year remaining, and as long as I keep my job that’s 50% of my salary for the remainder of the year that could cover all of that as payback.

Goal 2: …i have to remember this

I DID know what this was, and now suddenly forgot. I don’t know if the goal was to remember more or not, but there was a legit hard-ass Goal #2.


Is exactly that, a choice. Mainly, people who are offended by things they choose to be offended by things. People who like/dislike? Choice. Hugging/Kissing vs Life decisions? All choices. We are born, raised, and die by choices. Make the right choices and your good to go. The wrong ones will only put you down if you choose to have them do that to you.

Cleveland Clinic, day one

God, my daughter kicks the shit out of people that sleep next to her. At least that is what I got before I was able to pass out at 2am this morning.

Also, I just realized that the nurses here are cool as hell. It’s 10pm, and policy is that an Adult should be around with the patient at all times. This means that I’m pretty much stuck here but at the same time i’m going to get some coffee delivered with some cream and sugar.

And for some period of time I’ve been fighting with WordPress on finding out how to make “paragraphs” and “menus”, and I finally figured that out so I can make a great post.

So, we arrived, check-in was fine and easy, and she’s got her own room, private bathroom, and the whole nine yards. Everyone comes in, introduced themselves, and attempts to make her day the best in the world. The nurses are sweet, kind, and very attentive in listening to Savannah, even to the point of making her laugh.

Today Savannah put me in my place with the following:

Your just my real real dad, grandpa is the dad that keeps me safe.

Took me out of my mind for a bit and shut me up. Last I heard that I wasn’t the person that was expected to keep someone safe was when my last wife told me she wanted a divorce.

But things are better. I’ve got her playing some minecraft on the tablet, and shes’ learning the ropes while relaxing.

She also learned what an IV is today after I explained it wasn’t a “shot”. Tomorrow she’ll learn what “Labs” are, and I can’t wait 🙂