{"id":2490,"date":"2026-09-08T22:25:04","date_gmt":"2026-09-09T02:25:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/?p=2490"},"modified":"2026-09-08T22:25:06","modified_gmt":"2026-09-09T02:25:06","slug":"synacor-desk-swag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/2026\/09\/08\/synacor-desk-swag\/","title":{"rendered":"Synacor Desk Swag"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While cleaning things I happen to cross a pile of papers and sticky notes containing random phrases and interesting comments from coworkers at a previous job I used to work. I felt the need to get these digitized and memorialized as soon as the wave of nostalgia hit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As an initial prerequisite to reading\/seeing this data: I was called &#8220;Sparky&#8221;, a name provided to me by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dmolik\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">David Molik<\/a> shortly after I was employed. The reasoning was simple: There&#8217;s just too many &#8220;Matts&#8221; in an office building of 300 professionals to verbally discern me from the rest, so a moniker was appropriate. It stuck for a decade, and was much better than my previous moniker &#8220;Crash.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<div data-wp-interactive=\"core\/file\" class=\"wp-block-file\"><object data-wp-bind--hidden=\"!state.hasPdfPreview\" hidden class=\"wp-block-file__embed\" data=\"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Synacor-Desk-Swag.pdf\" type=\"application\/pdf\" style=\"width:100%;height:600px\" aria-label=\"Embed of Synacor-Desk-Swag.\"><\/object><a id=\"wp-block-file--media-c5e55eea-fc4f-4cfb-babf-4db22b91a246\" href=\"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Synacor-Desk-Swag.pdf\">Synacor-Desk-Swag<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/Synacor-Desk-Swag.pdf\" class=\"wp-block-file__button wp-element-button\" download aria-describedby=\"wp-block-file--media-c5e55eea-fc4f-4cfb-babf-4db22b91a246\">Download<\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Page 1<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An email from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/michael-galante-074b2272\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Michael Galante<\/a> dated April 4, 2016. This was a &#8220;collective response&#8221; email to the team of ~20 people. We had more emails from people who were working remote (pre-COVID), so we decided to respond that we were all in the office. #sarcasm<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Page 2<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This was an Instagram Post shared to me by Katie Bager on September 16, 2015 with the question &#8220;Is this you?&#8221;. The short answer was &#8220;no&#8221;, the longer answer was &#8220;Who&#8217;s Sophia Bush&#8221; (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/7oEcYjjiJZ\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/p\/7oEcYjjiJZ\/<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Page 3<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I had a Dry-Erase board to my right at my desk. It started out as a place to put my name and a list of the times that the bus departs to get me home (<a href=\"https:\/\/metro.nfta.com\/schedules\/route\/75\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bus 75<\/a> from Buffalo to West Seneca: 1600, 1630, 1720, 1815, 1945). It evolved to ticket numbers and Michael&#8217;s fanciful Git drawing, then getting plastered with saying and workplace shenanigans:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>&#8220;Triglyceroids&#8221; -cbrill (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/chad-brill\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Chad Brill<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;I made it to the point where you would start to get serious in your email, then I just quit&#8230;&#8221; -mgalante 31 Oct 2016<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Your testing instructions are always: Test Everything, Say Horray!&#8221; -msingh 5 Oct 2016 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/mohinder-singh-0bba52a\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Mohinder Singh<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;I worked my Anti-Magic&#8221; -gwallace 31 Oct 2016 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/glenn-wallace-3083a827\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Glenn Wallace<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;At least the problem is easy&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Mythical Velocity Pants&#8221; -jhutchins 21 April 2016 2:23pm (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/jamesahutchins\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">James Hutchins<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Bustificated&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Katie&#8217;s Temp Seat when Sparky is WFH&#8221; (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/kaitlinwieand\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kaitlin Wieand<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Did not say it was your fault, Just said you were to blame.&#8221; -krufe (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/krufe\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Ken Rufe<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Nuances<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Inssheption<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/the-viking-coder\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Bill Brady<\/a>&#8216;d&#8221;: Quiet for months, then decided not to give a shit and fail.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Throwing a wobbly&#8221; -tquiring 2 Sep 2015 @ 13:20:15 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/thomas-quiring-86b42624\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Thomas Quiring<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Sweet_ad_cash++&#8221; -dconley 24 Feb 2017 10:07 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dan-conley-876246190\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dan Conley<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;My Magnifying glass gets used extensively in my room!&#8221; -jhutchins 27 Oct 2016 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/jamesahutchins\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">James Hutchins<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Fartitech &#8211; To produce and design farts&#8230;&#8221; -dgersh (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/davidgersh\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dave Gersh<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Astobe Taging (a drunkmanteau of Adobe Staging)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;If you hit a rock with a boat it&#8217;s named after you forever&#8221; -rcrandall 24 August 2016 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/russ-c-520a307b\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Russ Crandall<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;I do not have the attention span to stalk you&#8221; -mgalante 14 Sep 2015<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Synamagic!&#8221; -bperuski 13 Octt 2015 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/brad-peruski-5b0aa56\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Brad Peruski<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;It&#8217;s in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/jack-yang-2832bb2\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jackland<\/a> Now.&#8221; -bwang 30 Mar 2016 (Bo Wang)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;CE is a psychopathic madhouse&#8221; -dlum 28 April 2015 (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/dale-lum-521b3755\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dale Lum<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Instant Timeout&#8221; -Saddat Islam 15 Jan 2017<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Page 4 to 7<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I migrated from the board to sticky notes after an entire desk move from an &#8220;open workspace&#8221; to a semi-cubicle space. These sticky notes not only contained witty expressions from coworkers but also Fish-Based acronym proposals. Engineering is fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>That&#8217;s &#8220;wiki&#8217;d&#8221; -gwallace 11 Feb 2020 2:40p (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/glenn-wallace-3083a827\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Glenn Wallace<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Its not the fall that kills you, its the ( mass times delta-velocity \/ delta-time)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Its like comparing milk and Rollercoasters -@cat Aug 23 2018 2:16pm (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/glenn-wallace-3083a827\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Glenn Wallace<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Less SAML, More SALMON (Security Assertion Language Markup Object Notation)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Did I just get an alert that there are cox settings in the ass?&#8221; -jkavanagh 2019-10-15 12:07pm (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/johnkavanagh\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">John Kavanagh<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fraud Identity Security Handler<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Concraptor &#8211; 12 July 2019 1321<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Hunchssumption -dgersh 12 Mar 2019 11:45am (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/davidgersh\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Dave Gersh<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Bejusted \/Busted-Adjusted\/ -rcrandall 4\/29\/2019 9:51am (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/russ-c-520a307b\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Russ Crandall<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Headless Object Notation for Executing Yaml<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Can we not call today Monday and instead refer to it as Taco Tuesday cause its less Negative?&#8221; &#8211;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/speljamr\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tim Finucane<\/a> 10:45am 13 May 2019<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Legacy! Get Forked! -bwang 7\/13\/2018 9:44am (Bo Wang)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Comment-sation. A conversation with Comments (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/glenn-wallace-3083a827\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Glenn<\/a> + Me) \/ 11 Feb 2020 2:10pm<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Touday!&#8221; &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/yulinqi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Yulin Qi<\/a> 5\/15\/2018 9:48am<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;All deck on hand&#8221; &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/yulinqi\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Yulin<\/a> 4\/19\/2018 4:10pm<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;@here I have accepted a job outside of Synacor. Nov 4th will be my last day.&#8221; -jmenard 2019 Nov 20 2:54pm (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/jonathan-m1\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Johnathan Menard<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;If it works fir the Queen it works for me.&#8221; -bear 8 Nov 2019 10:16am (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/jonathan-miller-58428b146\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jonathan Miller<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Abominable James Man! -kbager 7 Feb 2018 9:20am (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/kaitlinwieand\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kaitlin Wieand<\/a>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Eng Siva Josh (huddlenom w\/ Ted | Renee<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Bridge Metadata, IdP metadata, Authn? Authz \ud83d\ude42 test accounts<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Mercedes eh | ay | ee<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>(not) userguid instead of -| sessionid |- (ip)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>asstudely 10\/18\/2018 3:58pm<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>&#8220;Which is my bike?&#8221; Best Password Reset&#8230; -cat 12\/13\/2018 10:01am (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/glenn-wallace-3083a827\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Glenn Wallace<\/a>)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Page 8<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wrapping up with all the miscellaneous items, when people leave or get volun-told to not show up for work their desk has some artifacts that are no longer of possession. I chose to yeet two:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">purple ladybug novelty (<a href=\"https:\/\/plbfun.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">https:\/\/plbfun.com\/<\/a>) watermelon scratch-and-sniff stickers, of which you could scratch and sniff and smell watermelon. After 10 years they are more novelty than watermelon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The highlight of my day is hearing you talk so loud I can&#8217;t hear my own thoughts&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>While cleaning things I happen to cross a pile of papers and sticky notes containing random phrases and interesting comments from coworkers at a previous job I used to work. I felt the need to get these digitized and memorialized as soon as the wave of nostalgia hit. As an initial prerequisite to reading\/seeing this [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2490","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comedy","category-geek-instructions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2490"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2490\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2492,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2490\/revisions\/2492"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.unliterate.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}